Lent always gets me. Right around the third or fourth week of Lent, I remember how much it affects me. I have lived through the church seasons for 35 years, and I am still surprised when the heaviness of Lent hits me. This has been a particularly difficult Lent - or at least it seems like that. And I feel so incredibly unsafe - insecure - paranoid. I feel like the darkness and demonic is swirling around me, touching me, tempting me to join...giving me the taste I do not want. I shake my head, I try so desperately to walk away - run away - and yet, am pulled back again and again. I want anything but to be thrown back into the darkness, and yet I seem to step closer and closer. What I would give to feel safe - inwardly and outwardly. What I would give to taste the sweetness and not the bitterness...the sugar and not the salt. Keep me, O God, outwardly and inwardly safe.
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